It's been over a month since I've updated. There's too much of life in a month to condense down to one blog entry so I'll leave you with a story. One of my brothers moonlights as a bartender in a town called Winstead. I show up about an hour into his shift, plant myself at the end of the bar and order a pitcher. After my first beer I take a look around and the bar is a mix of old men and rednecks. I find out the guy next to me is name George. My pitcher is empty he orders a new one and offers me some. I agree and thus begins a five hour long drunken convesation. We talk about the military, how shitty the economy is, cars. etc al. After three hours and seven pitchers between the two of us I am properly inebriated. Not J drunk yet, but I'm getting there. I order a Jack and Coke and get up to take a leak. Some hick was standing infront of my stool when I got back. and he asked me 'hey slant eye, how long have you been gay?' My first response was to laugh my ass of at him and then rip him a new one about being a stupid hick. I then proceeded to bring my brother into it and I asked him hey man tell this fuckhead how many women I've fucked. He obliged and said more than that dickhead will ever see. The hick walked away and said fuck you. I responded with not even if you let me videotape it. This would not be the last encounter that I had with the redneck that thought I was gay. I finish my jack and coke, and order another.
Twenty minutes later and half a pitcher in, the redneck returns. He starts running his mouth about how he wants to go outside with me. I responde by telling him that I will not hold his hands while he crosses the street. I suggest that he goes back to his crew of friends so that they can start their circle jerk while he's on his knees. The redneck asks me again if I want to go outside. I then launch into a tirade against him it went something like this:
me: Listen you dumb fuck, I'm going outside with you.
redneck: why not?
me: Because I don't want to go to jail shithead
redneck: are you going to call the cops?
me: god you're fucking stupid. If we fight outside of a bar legally they have to call the cops.
redneck: come outside with me
me: fuck you're stupid.
at this point the redneck went outside to smoke. Geroge followed him. I looked at punch and said you know my balls say to go out there and beat the shit out of that guy, but my brain says to stay put. what should I do? Punch told me to stay where I was, he walked out from behind the bar and headed outside. The redneck was not allowed back into the bar.
J
