The month of December is almost over. It amazes me how I have progressed in life with respect to the past and the symbolism this month used to carry with me. I know that I may never be over it, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop trying. Six days left in the month and barring some egregious event I would have to concede that this has been the smoothest month of December yet. Still though my mind meanders to the events of the past, and how during the rest of the year it all seems to fade away.
This is the first time since I was sixteen that I have attended Christmas and Thanksgiving in the first year. After an eight year hiatus of alternating holidays I opted to attend Thanksgiving to see my sister because I had not seen her in a little over a year. I opted to attend Christmas this year to see my Grandfather who has Alzheimer's along with declining health. It brings forth the debate in my mind when does quantity of life ever justify sacrificing the quality of it? I don't even want to imagine what my Grandmother is going through. They've been married for over fifty years. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, but to have to watch them fade away like that seems to be so much harder than my soul would be capable of tolerating.
Christmas was interesting this year. As time goes on spending time at home with my parents becomes more and more awkward. On one hand I understand that they're my parents and that they care about me. On the other side as time goes on I notice how overbearing they are in all aspects of life. It frustrates me because I haven't lived with them since I was sixteen and I don't feel as though they have a full understanding of how I live.
nail in my hand from my creator you gave me a life, now show me how to live.
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