want to see a real shit show?

Members of the opposite sex perplex me. I met a woman last semester. She seemed to be interesting enough as far as her having a similar sense of human and somewhat of an understanding as to the type of person that I am. We started talking one day and for a two week stretch we talked everyday at length. At the end of which the subject of drinking came up and I told her that I intended to go to the bar on Thursday night. By the time I arrived at the bar she was already drunk. We had one drink together and then she wandered off, we exchanged more texts and met up an hour later at another bar. She said that she needed to tell me that her life was a mess, and that she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. She also added that I was too smart to be her boyfriend. I proceeded to tell her in the nicest way possible and by that I mean not tell her the complete truth that I don't do the relationship thing. (It's not that I don't do it, it's that unless you meet my standards I'm not going to waste my time.) She acknowledged this and then proceeded to tell me that she thinks that I'm super cool and that she wants to be friends because she likes me and that I'm funny. So confused by her logic I tell her no worries, we have another drink together and then she says that she's leaving. I tell her to call me/text me when she gets home so that I know she arrived safely. When she does text me she says that she's mad at me because I didn't feel up on her... To which I reply that I don't do that sort of thing with people that I'm not interested in. The rest of the night was a mixed bag of consuming copious amounts of alcohol and getting my kind of drunk. The kind of drunk when you pass out in your bed naked and you put off going to the bathroom until the last moment possible because moving is awkward. The kind of drunk where you wake up drink water and sleep for several hours more. The day after a hard night of drinking like that always leaves me feeling less than human the next day. I don't enjoy the feeling but I do enjoy telling people that I feel almost human again in the evening. Anyway crazy drunk girl sends me a message apologizing for the way that she acted the previous night. Saying that she was sorry that she was that girl. She reiterated the fact that she thought that I was a cool person and wanted to be my friend, and apologized for her being upset that I wouldn't touch her.

Granted I understand when people are drunk they say and do some stupid things, but really? The triumvirate of stupidity in her case in my mind was first telling me that she thought that I was too smart for her. Followed by her assertions that she wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and finally that she wanted me to get all over her? What is that? Look I can understand being drunk and wanting to be touched and or hook up, but the person that you're trying to seduce will feel a lot less repugnant about the entire experience if you don't tell them that you aren't looking for anything serious.