daughters lock up your mothers

I don't understand what it is about me, but in the last month I have been hit on by three mothers at the bar. Granted they're young (in their mid to late twenties) but still really? I have no desire to become a surrogate father to a child.

One thing that I will never understand about members of my sex is the inability to understand some of the basic fundamentals of hygiene. I have yet to meet a woman who thinks that the smell of your ass is sexy. I've also yet to meet a women who thinks that it's hot to live in a fucking mess. It baffles me as to why other men my age believe that they will ever get anything beyond friendship if while they wear the same underwear day in and day out, shower occasionally and never clean up after themselves. Look it's not that complicated, and I assure you that millions of adult men take showers everyday. Maybe it's me but I've always showered on a regular basis, worn clean clothing and cologne. Smell has never been a problem for me, and so it makes me wonder about the individuals who are incapable of smelling at least semi decent. It's an awkward conversation to have with people to be sure, like really what do you say to them. Something to the effect of hey dude I can smell your ass, so please take it into the shower? There really isn't a way to tell them without them being offended. On the other end of the extreme you have individuals who bathe in cologne. I also never quite figured this out. I"v ealways gone by the rule that I want you to be able to smell me if you're standing next to me, but I don't want you to be able to smell me from across the room. This also isn't a complicated science, it's applying enough cologne to make your smell noticalbe but not enough to make it overpowering.

So what is it? What is it about males ages 14-30 that don't understand the concept of hygiene and the role that it palsy with respect to one's sexual proclivities in the future?

Drink, drank, drunk.

Alcohol and I have always had an odd relationship. I have for the longest time wanted to live up to the idea set forth by Churchill that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. I find it interesting the various occasions when I drink, and the changing drinks that I consume while occupying myself with the various activities. There are times when really all I want to do is sit at my desk, smoke a cigar, drink whiskey, and write. Other times I enjoy drinking wine while I write. I find that alcohol not only allows my inhibitions fade away, but also allows people to be honest with themselves with respect to who they are. Being in college copious amounts of beer are consumed during various activities. (Going to the bar [with the intent of not being shit canned wasted at the end of the night], watching a sporting event, engaging in drinking games of all sorts, or while playing games.) An amazing amount of ritual and tradition I have developed around drinking in my college career. I have the drinks that we consume on a first date with someone to show them that we have taste. To see if they are perceptive enough to see with what connotation I have ordered and consumed my alcohol. I have the drinks that we consume on really bad dates because we hold the glimmer of hope that if I'm a little drunk they might become more interesting. I have the drinks that I consume when I meet a friend of mine and want to talk shop, and the one's for after business has conclude and now we wish to create a sense of mayhem. I have the drink that I indulge in after a hard day, and the drink that I enjoy during the cold dark nights in Minnesota. I don't imbibe alcohol often, however I can think of a drink to go with almost any occasion. I'm okay with the fleeting thoughts in my mind of drinking.

It's times like these you learn to live again

The month of December is almost over. It amazes me how I have progressed in life with respect to the past and the symbolism this month used to carry with me. I know that I may never be over it, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop trying. Six days left in the month and barring some egregious event I would have to concede that this has been the smoothest month of December yet. Still though my mind meanders to the events of the past, and how during the rest of the year it all seems to fade away.

This is the first time since I was sixteen that I have attended Christmas and Thanksgiving in the first year. After an eight year hiatus of alternating holidays I opted to attend Thanksgiving to see my sister because I had not seen her in a little over a year. I opted to attend Christmas this year to see my Grandfather who has Alzheimer's along with declining health. It brings forth the debate in my mind when does quantity of life ever justify sacrificing the quality of it? I don't even want to imagine what my Grandmother is going through. They've been married for over fifty years. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, but to have to watch them fade away like that seems to be so much harder than my soul would be capable of tolerating.

Christmas was interesting this year. As time goes on spending time at home with my parents becomes more and more awkward. On one hand I understand that they're my parents and that they care about me. On the other side as time goes on I notice how overbearing they are in all aspects of life. It frustrates me because I haven't lived with them since I was sixteen and I don't feel as though they have a full understanding of how I live.


nail in my hand from my creator you gave me a life, now show me how to live.

Arg!

Members of society and the blogsphere if I could change one thing about the universe I would make is so that your relationship status would be stamped on your forehead. It would revolutionize the dating and mating game, ensure a reduction to the awkward moments at the bar, and let you know that you are at least on an equal playing field with a member of the opposite sex.

To be fair I know pretty much where I am in life, with respect to my life stage and what my needs are. I know that I appear impossibly complicated to members outside of my small inner circle, however let's be honest. I'm you're typical soon to be college gradate. Freaking out about life outside of waking up at noon, drinking on Tuesday nights, and coin operated laundry. I'm not overly complicated, just because I have an extensive vocabulary, and I enjoy having discussions about Transcendentalism, the state of nature, the difference between an Epicurean and a Stoic. Is it really that complicated to understand? Fuck I get pissed off at most transcendentalist unless I'm half in the bag.

At any rate the cause for this diatribe about being single and knowing what I want. I met someone at the bar last night. I enjoyed the conversations that I had with her, I enjoyed playing drinking games with her, hell she was even able to pull me out onto the dance floor. Somewhere between the obligatory bumping and grinding that we had to do she put her arms around my neck and our eyes met. Everything around me just kinda faded away as I took in the features and expression of her face, the tactile sensation of my hands upon her hips and her arms around my neck, all the while the moment stretched out and lasted seemingly forever. Then the moment was gone, our song together had ended, and we both went our separate ways. She left with her friends, I with mine. I sent her an email later on that night expressing that I had enjoyed my time with her, and that at some point in the future I would like to see her again. I've yet to hear back from her so I have no idea if/when she will respond, or if she will acquiesce to my request. However I did find out this evening that she has a pretty serious boyfriend from my friend Sean....

A pox on you on thee non relationship status foreheads, A pox on thee.

Shakespeare was right....

There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and miseries.

I took the LSAT this past Saturday. It was a bit surreal to be forced into such an arbitrary position with respect to my future. This test represents three years of work in undergrad, the first step in seeing the fruition of my dream of becoming an attorney, a year spent reviewing arguments and taking practice tests. It seems so wonderful and horrible at the same time to reach this kind of impasse. I don't know if at any other point in your life you will ever have as much potential that has yet to be actualized with respect to your future hinged upon a single test.

In other news people irk me. I'm so sick of this collective collegiate experience where people claim ignorance as an excuse for acting like petulant children. I don't know why they feel justified acting in such a manor, or what measure of camaraderie they hope to retain from these years if they continue to act this way. It makes me sad to see individuals fall from grace. It makes me wonder if people are just petty and ridiculously stupid or if at some point in the stages of human development they learn to be what we commonly refer to as a 'decent' person?

I can't wait to finish up my undergraduate degree and get out of here.

The rest of my life will be decided this Saturday. I don't know how I feel about the totality of that kind of dynamic, or the finality of it all. I will either do well enough on the LSAT to be admitted to a Law school, or I can prepare for a career selling bits of string. I feel at ease with the course my life has taken, and am more or less prepared for it.


Aside from that, I hate Green Bay Packers fans. It's not that you can't support your team. It's not that I'm from Minnesota so I have to hate everything that is Wisconsin. It is simply this. Your team the Green Bay Packers, hasn't done anything of significance in the last ten years. What irks me the most is why people decide to run their mouths about how great the Packers are. Hmmm. Lets see you let the only three time MVP in NFL history go, who is leading his new team to the playoffs. While you remain in third position a division that has Brad 'oh my god I figure out how to make my team stop sucking at football' Childress. Congratulations Green Bay fans you're ahead of the lowly Lions who have yet to win a game this season. Maybe it's all of the beer that you drink that makes you believe that you reek of awesomeness, but let's be fair. The last time you had glory days Bill Clinton was still in office, We gearing up for the Y2K switch, Nobody knew who Osama Bin Laden was, and we elected a former wrestler as the Governor for the State of Minnesota.